


Birthday Surprise

by PurplePirate83



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Birthday, Crying, Hurt/Comfort, I Love You, Kissing, Love, M/M, Recovery, Romance, Secrets, Self-Loathing, Suspicion, Trust, kissing scene, overreacting, overwhelming emotions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-08-19 13:31:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20210572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurplePirate83/pseuds/PurplePirate83
Summary: Eiji wants to surprise Ash for his birthday.But Ash notices his strange behavior and gets suspicious.Will he leave Eiji when seeing Eiji is hiding something from him? Or will he trust Eiji?And will Eiji manage to surprise him or will Ash figure it out before his birthday?





	1. Secrets

**Author's Note:**

> This story was written for Ash’s (and Yoshida’s) birthday 💜
> 
> The story was too long, so I divided it into two parts.  
The first part is more hurt and the second part is more fluff.
> 
> If there are more mistakes than usual, I apologize. I wanted to publish it on the day of Ash’s birthday and will proofread it again later.

Everything was perfect. So perfect in fact that it sometimes scared him to death. He was afraid of waking up in a dimly lit room in Manhattan again. That the last few months in Japan had just been a dream.

Ash needed some time to adapt to a new culture, a new language and a world that was eerily silent and peaceful, just as Eiji had described it to him. While Eiji continued college to become a photographer, Ash learned Japanese at a language school that was close to college. Most days they went to the cafeteria of Eiji’s college to have lunch together. Ash loved the photos Eiji showed him for his latest projects. He had a good eye for minor details others would overlook which made his photos special. Unlike those twisted and disgusting photos taken by his abusers, Eiji’s photos reflected his pure and innocent view of the world which made them beautiful. It also helped Ash understand that photos were also able to catch beautiful moments in time that were precious to you. That photos even froze and revived perfect seconds in your life that were over in a heartbeat and had already been fading from your memory. That such an instant caught on camera stayed with you for all eternity and made you relive that happy moment. He slowly began to realize that photos depended strongly on the one looking through the camera.

Eiji was impressed by how much Japanese Ash could already read and understand. Sometimes he practically beamed at him when Ash had understood a word pun or he could read a difficult passage in a book. Eiji had also been really proud that Ash had found a part-time job in the afternoon at a small café next to college. Since the café was close to college and many international students frequented the place, they needed someone who could speak English. And it probably didn’t hurt that students frequented the place to see the handsome blonde waiter either. At least that was what Eiji had told him, laughing at the surprised look crossing his face. At the same time Eiji sometimes still worked for Ibe and assisted him when he had enough free time.

Ash enjoyed his ordinary life with Eiji and slowly stopped feeling guilty to be alive and to accept his second chance in life he had been given. Eiji just accepted him the way he was with his horrible nightmares and his paranoia, his suffering and his panic attacks at times. He understood that his problems wouldn’t disappear overnight and that he needed much more time to get over his traumatic past and to trust people again. Eiji had just told him that recovering from something like that wasn’t easy and would take time. That he had to be patient and to take one step at a time. And that it would all work out as long as they were together.

Eiji taught him everyday to accept himself as he was and to value his life more. To not feel guilty for being alive. That he deserved this new life more than anyone else after suffering for so long. Eiji’s warmth, his honesty and his innocent and pure heart comforted him and made him feel complete. He made him feel safe and protected for the very first time.

He still had horrible nightmares sometimes, but they had changed. They weren’t about his dark past anymore, but instead about losing Eiji. Putting him in danger and failing to save him. His greatest fear. Sometimes, after having such a nightmare, he was still convinced that he would put Eiji’s life in danger again and that it would be better to leave him. But Eiji always pulled him out of those negative thoughts and knew just the right thing to say to make him feel better.

But for the last few days Eiji’s behavior had changed slightly, Ash had noticed right away.  
Eiji’s emotions were always openly reflected on his face. He looked happier and was smiling mysteriously when looking at him as if he knew something Ash didn’t.

But Ash didn’t have too much time to think about his strange behavior because it was the end of the semester and both of them had exams coming up. Eiji had also had to hand in some projects that took most of his time. Ash also had a written and an oral exam in Japanese the next few days. He needed the certificate to get into the more advanced course next semester. And he still had his  
work at the café. Since his language course was over except for the exams, he worked more hours at the café because he wanted to save some money for a trip Eiji and he wanted to do during summer break. He took over some extra shifts from students whose exams weren’t over yet. So they had  
both rarely seen each other these last few days.

After their exams were finally over, Eiji’s weird behavior didn’t change. He was still hiding in his room for hours, explaining to him that he had a last project to work on. But when Ash asked him what it was about, he would just say that it’s a photography project and that it was for someone special and the rest was a surprise, winking at him.

Utter confusion ran over Ash’s face. What the hell was that supposed to mean? And why was Eiji saying it was a surprise? Why wouldn’t Eiji tell him? And what did that annoying wink imply? And who was that special someone he sacrificed so much of his free time for? That person had to be really important to him… He wondered who it was?

He wasn’t used to such a strange behavior coming from Eiji. Normally Eiji was always open about anything he did, he had never hidden anything from him until now or only told him the half truth. Even when Ash didn’t know all the techniques he studied or the deeper meaning behind his projects, Eiji usually explained everything patiently to Ash. His eyes were practically shining each time Ash told him his photos were beautiful and the result of his project looked really great. But he also listened to Ash’s opinion and criticism when he had some advice or some idea how to improve it.

But not this time. This time Eiji had just explained to him that it wasn’t for college, but a personal project. That he didn’t have much time left to finish it. But he couldn’t tell him what it was about until the next day and that he should trust him. What the fuck? Since when had Eiji become so secretive? When had he started to hide things from him? And why tomorrow? Why couldn’t he tell him now? Was tomorrow a special day or something? Had he forgotten an important event? He thought about that, but couldn’t remember why tomorrow would be special…

But Ash decided to trust him as Eiji had asked, giving him the space he needed. But while reading some Japanese books Eiji had given him, his thoughts constantly drifted elsewhere. Why was Eiji acting like this? And was it his fault? Was it something he had said? Eiji had never had secrets before. Maybe he didn’t trust him as much as he thought he did? What if he had done something wrong without realizing it? Maybe he had hurt him? Or maybe he had changed his mind and wanted him to leave? But, wait, then why was Eiji smiling every time he looked at him? That didn’t make sense. The only thing he got from overthinking this was a throbbing headache. Just great! He could plan perfect missions against the smartest and toughest opponents and easily outsmart them, but when it came to Eiji he was totally lost. Because Eiji was the most irrational person he knew. Logic didn’t work on him. But emotions still remained a mystery to him, so he often misunderstood Eiji’s reactions until Eiji explained it to him.

This morning Eiji had left the apartment when Ash had still been sleeping and had come back sneaking in while carrying some things he had apparently brought back with him. When Eiji had thought Ash had still been sleeping, he had hidden them in his room while humming to himself and smiling. Ash had also heard him making long calls behind shut doors. The only thing Ash had noticed had been that during those calls Eiji had been speaking English. Why? Who was he calling? What the fuck was happening here? One time he had heard Eiji saying. “I have to hang up, Ash has just come home.” Or maybe he had imagined that?

Ash wanted to trust Eiji, he really did, put he slowly started to panic. Maybe Eiji secretly planned his trip back to New York and that was the reason why he was smiling? But why didn’t he tell him that to his face? He had always told him the harsh truth to his face. Even if it had hurt him. Because he strongly believed that one of the most important things in any relationship was honesty.

Ash was watching Eiji’s every move suspiciously and wondered why Eiji was acting that way. But since Eiji had done so much for him in these last few months, he wanted to show him that he trusted him as well. It was the least thing he could do. And he knew with absolute confidence that Eiji would never do something to hurt him, so he reluctantly decided not to press further on the matter and not to think too much about it. Eiji wouldn’t tell him anyway. He was stubborn as hell when he had made up his mind.

That evening Ash came home from his work at the café. He had to stay longer because they had celebrated the last day before summer break. The café depended on the college students, so the café normally closed at the end of the college semester for some weeks as well. When he came home, Eiji wasn’t there yet. He had told Ash that he would come home later because he was meeting with Ibe to show him some photos and ask his advice.

He went into the kitchen and unpacked some leftover snacks, cakes and desserts from the café he had been given because they’d go bad during summer break. But he could barely squeeze all of them in the fridge because Eiji had filled it up to the extreme with food that would last them for weeks. And was that sparkling wine in the fridge? What the hell? After he had finally managed to stuff all the food into the fridge somehow, he wandered into Eiji’s room to get his laptop computer back that Eiji had borrowed the previous evening. He wanted to look for some trips they could afford during summer break until Eiji came back. It also kept his mind busy and kept him from overthinking things again. But when he picked up the laptop, he accidentally pulled the computer mat underneath along with it. Revealing an already open envelope hidden underneath. Ash didn’t pay attention at first, but then he saw a plane ticket. With his name on it.

When seeing the plane ticket and who it was from, he completely froze up, his eyes widening in complete shock while dropping his laptop in the process, not caring at all. It was an American travel agency situated in … New York City? The plane ticket was sticking out of the envelope, so Ash could only read his name. But for him that was enough. The booking confirmation was lying next to it. But Ash was still staring at his name on the plane ticket. That made his smart mind go blank. His hand started trembling so hard that he plane ticket fell to the ground after picking up the envelope. Ash sat on Eiji’s bed, one hand covering his downcast eyes. Eiji wasn’t thinking about sending him back to the US, was he? Ash had felt that they had gotten along perfectly and they had enjoyed their time together in Japan. Eiji had also told him he had a great time here with him by his side. So what did that letter mean? Maybe Eiji had just pretended to be as happy as he was? No, that couldn’t be. Eiji’s emotions were always clearly visible on his face. He couldn’t hide or fake them, let alone playing a role the way he could. But, still…

Ash had always been convinced that he was too much trouble. That Eiji could have a much easier life without him. That his life wouldn’t be such a chaotic mess. Maybe it was all too much for Eiji. His horrifying nightmares, his overprotectiveness. Or his paranoia, still seeing shadows and enemies at every corner. And especially his overreaction when someone only touched him unintentionally while in a huge crowd. There had been several incidents where Ash had just reacted on instinct and pinned people to the ground just because they had touched him or he had thought they would pull a weapon or a knife from their jacket pocket. Eiji had tried hard to convince them not to call the police, explaining to them that he was a survivor of war or something similar and paying for their things as well to make up for it. Maybe Eiji couldn’t take it anymore and didn’t want to deal with his trauma and his emotional baggage anymore. Or his stubborn personality that often refused help and made everything even harder for Eiji. He was an ungrateful bastard at times, pushing Eiji away, not wanting to be a burden for him. Refusing his help when he so desperately needed it.

_I knew it. Eiji wants me to leave. I don’t deserve someone like him. All of it was too good to be true. Why would someone as selfless as Eiji stay with someone like me forever? I should have never come to Japan. That was all a big mistake. As long as I’m here, I only end up hurting him. I knew such a perfect life wouldn’t last forever. That I’m just a burden to him…_

  
But Eiji had told him over and over again that he didn’t want him to leave. That he needed him as well because Ash gave him the self-confidence and the strength he needed to finish his college degree and to believe in his talent as a photographer. That he was more relaxed when he spent time with Ash because he made him feel alive and loved for the first time in his life. Loved…

Eiji had even told him that he loved him… But at the time Ash hadn’t seen that coming at all, leaving him completely stunned and at a loss for words, so he hadn’t returned it. Not because he didn’t love Eiji. The only thing he was completely certain about was that he had been loving Eiji for a while now. He had always wondered if Eiji loved him as well, not as a best friend, but romantically. He had never dared to ask, too afraid to destroy everything between them at once. He just couldn’t lose Eiji…

But hearing that from him had still shocked him. He knew that Eiji had really meant it and had seen the pure honesty running over his features. But he still couldn’t shake the overwhelming feeling of nausea and disgust that overcame him when hearing those words from Eiji. Too many monsters had told him those same three words, but had twisted them and corrupted them so much for him that panic had suddenly surged through him when hearing that. So instead of saying those words back to him, the only thing he had been able to do at that moment, was escaping into his room and opening a window to be able to breathe normally again and stop trembling. Eiji had looked really worried and had immediately run after him. Ash had tried to explain to him why he had reacted that way and had apologized. Eiji had apologized as well and had told him that it was fine. After that Eiji had never said those three words again. Probably because he had hurt him badly with his egoistic and cruel reaction when he was supposed to be happy and say those exact words back to him. But he just couldn’t…

Maybe that was the reason why Eiji wanted him to leave. He had finally hurt him so much that Eiji couldn’t take it anymore. He had finally realized he was way too much trouble and not worth saving. Or not worth the effort. That he had to sacrifice too much for him. Maybe that was Eiji’s way of telling him to leave. Maybe Eiji wanted Ash to find that envelope? So he didn’t have to tell him the harsh truth to his face? But Eiji wasn’t like that… He was the only person who dared to tell him the truth even if it hurt him. Even if it would lead to a fight. But what else could that letter mean? And why did it have to be now? When he had finally found a home where he felt accepted and loved? And he had hoped that Eiji felt the same way. Apparently he had been wrong. So he would accept that Eiji didn’t want him here anymore… and leave. Forever.

Ash went to his room and silently packed his things into his bag while tears appeared in his eyes and ran down his face. If Eiji really wanted him to leave, he would do it. He wrote Eiji a note, thanking him for everything and telling him how grateful he was to be able to spend all this time by his side. That he would never forget that time with him ever. Then he threw the bag over his shoulder and started to leave.


	2. A perfect day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ash leaves because he thinks that Eiji wants that.
> 
> But when he wants to leave, the door opens and Eiji returns, shocked that Ash has packed his bag.
> 
> Then he notices the letter in his hand and understands.  
He asks him to wait until the next day. If he still wants to leave he won’t stop him.
> 
> Will Ash leave or stay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part has more fluff and/or romance.
> 
> I haven't completely proofread that either but for me it was more important to publish it on Ash’s birthday.
> 
> I will proofread it again later and correct the remaining mistakes.

Unfortunately, this was the exact time when Eiji had decided to come back. Ash heard the familiar sound of the door opening. Fuck! He’d never be able to leave when looking into Eiji’s eyes. He didn’t want to see the painful truth reflected in his brown eyes either.

When Eiji came through the door and saw Ash’s bag in his hand, his smiling face dropped instantly, turning into complete shock while dropping everything he was carrying, even his expensive camera.

“Ash, what are you doing? What does that mean? Have I done something wrong?  
Why are you leaving?”, he exclaimed in a scared voice, pure compassion flooding his features. “Have you been crying?”, he asked, grabbing his hand.

Ash nearly had to smile. Of course, Eiji’s first conclusion was that he had done something wrong. That was so typical Eiji. He finally put the bag down again.

After looking at Ash with concern, Eiji’s gaze wandered to the envelope that Ash was still holding in his other hand. He took the envelope from him, looking at it more closely.

“Oh, damn. How did you find that? I thought I’d hidden that… Eiji exclaimed, realizing slowly what had happened. When he saw the shocked look on Ash’s face, he added “Please don’t tell me that this is the reason you want to leave, Ash.”

Ash couldn’t bear to look at Eiji. So he stubbornly turned away. Eiji grabbed his hand and forced him to face him again.

“Ash, I promise you that no matter what absurd conclusion you have reached while finding that, it’s completely wrong.”, Eiji told him seriously, but in a pleading voice.

“But – “, Ash said sadly, looking down at the floor. “If you really want me to leave…”, Ash began, hiding his trembling hands in the pockets of his hoody.

“Ash, if I wanted you to leave, I would tell you that straight to your face!”, Eiji exclaimed angrily.

Ash looked up at him again, pain overflowing his pale face. “Would you really? I’ve always been afraid that you’re much too kind to tell me that.”, Ash admitted reluctantly.

“Ash, I have never had any problems at all to tell you the truth. Even if it hurts you. Or me. I’ve already done that several times. And I will continue doing that by telling you the following: Your conclusion is completely wrong. And why don’t you talk to me before leaving like that? You didn’t even give me the opportunity to explain myself. Don’t you think that is unfair?”

Ash flinched at that. He couldn’t bear hearing the anger and disappointment resonating in Eiji’s voice. But then Eiji’s eyes softened and were lighting up as if he had just realized something important.

“You don’t even know which day is tomorrow, do you?”, Eiji asked him, smiling at him.“I thought you would have remembered by now.”, Eiji said sadly.

Ash tried to remember another time, but his smart mind still wasn’t able to come up with an answer. Why would tomorrow be special? For a moment he thought it was Eiji’s birthday or something like that, but they had already celebrated Eiji’s birthday. What else could it be…?”, he wondered silently, trying to figure it out, but gave up after a minute, sighing in resignation.

He frowned at Eiji and finally decided to just admit defeat. “What do you mean by that? Why should tomorrow be different from any other day?”, he asked in confusion.

Eiji just burst out laughing. “You’re really cute when you’re that oblivious.”, he said, smiling at him for the first time. “And even more so, when you’re blushing like that.”, he added, grinning at him.

“Whatever!”, Ash said, turning away from him and pouting, since Eiji obviously didn’t want to tell him the correct answer. But then he turned around again, realizing he had apparently forgotten something important. That was something he wasn’t used to since his smart mind usually found the right answer to any problem within seconds.

When Eiji saw Ash looking down at him in complete confusion, he took his hand again, trying to calm him down.

“Ash, calm down, ok? It’s something you have to remember yourself. I can’t tell you what it is. But please do me a favor and wait until tomorrow morning, ok? There are no flights from here at this hour anyway. Or trains. This is Izumo, not Tokyo. Then I’ll explain to you why I kept a secret from you and will tell you what it is.”

“You promise?”, Ash asked suspiciously, a frown emerging on his face again.

“I promise. If you want to leave after that, I won’t stop you.”, Eiji said sadly. “But honestly, the reason I behaved like that is because I wanted to show you that you’re special to me. I don’t want you to leave. I promised you forever after all. When will you finally believe me?”, Eiji asked, his brown eyes drowning in disappointment.

“Forever, huh? I guess I overreacted again. I’m so sorry, Eiji.”, Ash said miserably.

“It’s ok.” Then he looked at the letter. “Where’s the plane ticket?”, Eiji asked curiously.  
“I think it fell to the ground in your room.” Ash answered sadly.

“But did you take a good look at it?”, Eiji asked curiously.  
“I didn’t.”, he admitted. “It was enough for me that my name was written on it. And that is was sent from New York City. Strange coincidence… “  
“You’re right. It’s not a coincidence. It was an US-Japanese collaboration.”, Eiji agreed.

“You’ll figure it out tomorrow morning or rather afternoon, considering how long it always takes me to get you out of bed…” Ash just glared at him. “Come on, let’s eat.”, he said, changing the topic.

While they were eating, Eiji still had that annoying smile on his face that told him he knew a secret that Ash hadn’t discovered yet. It drove him mad, he honestly wanted to get angry at him and demand an explanation for his damn suspicious behavior these last few days. But Eiji looked so happy his eyes were practically glowing a golden brown. He just couldn’t do it. Not while looking into his warm eyes that radiated pure happiness and excited anticipation. So he just accepted that he had to wait for Eiji to reveal the big mystery to him. Since he apparently was too dumb for once to figure it out himself.

“You don’t have to work tomorrow, right?”, Eiji asked.

“No, I told you we have a summer break for some weeks. My language school is also finished for this semester. Your college semester is over as well, right?”, Ash asked while putting some of the café’s  
leftovers on the table.

“Wow, that looks amazing!”, he said, instantly digging in. “Maybe I should visit you more often at the café!”, Eiji exclaimed in pure joy.

“No, thanks. You’re always distracting me. The last time you were there I mixed up sugar and salt.”

“Oh, yeah, that was hilarious.” Eiji burst out laughing, nearly choking because he had just stuffed a piece of cake into his mouth.

“No, it wasn’t. It was a fucking disaster. I nearly got fired because of you.”, Ash complained, pointing at him with his fork.

“You’re exaggerating. They wouldn’t fire you. 80% of the customers you have come because you work there. Your boss knows that. The only one who hasn’t realized that yet is you, Mr. Tall and Handsome.” he said, winking at him. A faint blush crossed Ash’s cheeks for a moment. “Stop that nonsense.”, he said, looking away. “I love it when you’re completely oblivious of something. Makes me finally look smarter for once.”, Eiji grinned. Ash rudely took away his plate and stuffed the leftovers from the café into the fridge again.

“Hey, I was still going to eat that.”, Eiji complained, still smiling.  
“No, you’ll get fat.”, Ash said. “Your health is safe in my hands”, he added smugly, returning the phrase he had said to him while still in New York.

“Good thing I prepared natto for tomorrow then.”, Eiji informed him, grinning mischievously. “There’s nothing more healthy.” Ash scowled at him. “Sometimes you’re just mean.”, silently loving their bickering and enjoying every moment of it.

The next day Ash woke up rather late. Their apartment already smelled like coffee and breakfast.  
It was already 11 am. Damn, why hadn’t Eiji woken him up? Ok, they had a summer break starting today, but normally Eiji would wake him up at 10 am at the latest and would kindly force him to get up. He went into the kitchen, but no one was there. Although Eiji had obviously cooked something because it smelled deliciously. But where the hell was Eiji? There was no one in his room, either, so he walked into the last room left: their living room. And stopped at the door frame, eyes widening when he saw the newly decorated living room. Ash had never seen so much Japanese food at once. The whole table was covered and Eiji had even decorated it nicely. There was even a bottle of sparkling wine on the table with two glasses who had already been filled. The sofa was covered with … presents? That damn envelope was there as well. Eiji was just talking to his mother. He didn’t understand all of it, but he told her something about holidays and a trip for a few days. When he had hung up, Eiji greeted Ash happily.

“Hey, Ash”, he said far too happily for Ash’s still sleepy mind.

“Eiji, what is all this?”, he asked, staring at all the food and the decorations in confusion.

“You still haven’t remembered, huh? I can’t believe it.”, Eiji said incredulously. “We’re celebrating, of course.”, he said happily.

Before Ash could process that or could react in any way, Eiji went to him and hugged him while whispering into his ear “Happy 19th birthday, you idiot.”, giving him a kiss on his cheek at the end.

Ash just stared at him for a moment, completely frozen up until he had processed what Eiji had just said. “Birthday? My birthday? That’s today?”, he asked quietly, slapping a hand against his forehead.

“Yeah, it is. Honestly, how can you forget your own birthday?”, Eiji scolded him lightly. “You remembered mine perfectly.”

“So all your strange behavior was because …”, Ash began.

“Yeah, you made it really hard for me to surprise you.”, Eiji complained. “You’re the special person I mentioned. You still won’t believe me if I tell you with words, so I had to show you instead.”, Eiji explained.

Ash just stared at him for a moment before walking over to him and hugging him tightly. “Thank you, Eiji. I… I love you.”, he said barely audible while a single tear was running down his pale face. He could feel Eiji freezing up for a second when hearing those words from him. Eiji slowly pulled out of the hug, complete shock flooding his face while staring at him. Then he beamed at him, his golden brown eyes glowing with pure happiness, softly wiping Ash’s tear away.  
“You’re such a crybaby sometimes. But I love you, too, Ash.” Eiji answered overjoyed.

Now Eiji’s face was so close that Ash’s mind melted while drowning in those warm, brown eyes. He instantly knew that this was the perfect moment he had been waiting for. Eiji wouldn’t initiate anything because he wanted to make sure that he wouldn’t force Ash to do something he didn’t want to do. He had told him that Ash had to make the first move. That it had to be his choice. But he didn’t want that kiss to turn out like the one he had practically forced on Eiji in prison. At that time he hadn’t known that had been Eiji’s first kiss, but he had still kissed him without his consent and by taking advantage of his surprise and shock. He had regretted that ever since because he had acted exactly the same way as his abusers around him, stealing a moment from him that was supposed to be special and a unique experience. So he was in no way a better person, but as corrupted and evil as his abusers had been. But Eiji had told him that he had understood his reasoning at the time, that he hadn’t had any other choice. That he should just forget it and start a new try. But only if he wanted that himself. Not out of guilt or for making up for that first kiss.

Eiji had noticed his hesitation as well. He just looked at him with his warm eyes expectantly. Eiji seemed to know why he was hesitating, just nodding at him encouragingly. That was the last push Ash needed.

“Eiji, can I kiss you?”, Ash asked timidly, still a bit afraid of being rejected.  
But Eiji’s eyes sparkled with even more happiness, lighting up instantly.  
“Yes, of course. Always.”, Eiji told him without the slightest hesitation.

Ash moved a bit closer and gently grabbed his face. He noticed how Eiji was blushing and looked at him, his brown eyes widening with a mixture of uncertainty and affection. While moving closer, he saw Eiji’s lips trembling slightly when Eiji leaned back a little. His lips felt so soft and warm when he finally touched them, kissed them. He had kissed countless people in his life, mostly without his consent, and had always thought that a kiss was nothing special, for him it had simply been a way of domination or demonstrating power. Exercising control over someone. Or getting information out of people by faking emotions. He had never felt anything at all and had just been disgusted by it. He had never understood why people thought a first kiss was so special and why that was so damn important to most people. But all of that changed within a matter of seconds. Because this was the first real kiss he wanted to give voluntarily. And this time not to get information or smuggle secret messages out of prison, but because he had been wanting to do that for a very long time. Just because he wanted to show Eiji how much he loved him. He was really bad with words when it came to emotions. But maybe he could just show Eiji how much he meant to him?

When he started to kiss Eiji, his mind suddenly flatlined. Everything felt completely new to him, he had never experienced something like this before. It was as if this really was his very first kiss. His body moved on its own, his fingers gripping Eiji’s hair and pulling him even closer while the rest of his body dissolved into Eiji’s, ultimately becoming one. Ash could feel the warmth spreading through his body and felt his heart nearly bursting with happiness.  
He could feel Eiji responding to the kiss, grabbing his hair as well, but not pushing any further, letting Ash stay in control. He could feel Eiji’s inexperience because he was hesitating slightly at times, counting on Ash to take the lead. Eiji closed his eyes slowly and Ash did the same, slowly deepening the kiss into a more passionate one. He could feel Eiji’s heartbeat quickening and how Eiji’s breathing was changing and became more fast-paced with every passing second. His lips tasted like pure sweetness and innocence and his arm tightly around his waist made him instantly feel safe and protected. He had never thought that one single kiss could arouse so many different emotions in him. Kissing Eiji made him feel really alive, loved and truly happy. And he had never thought there could be a moment where he could feel even happier than he already had been while living with Eiji.

He slowly softened the kiss again, pulling back slowly until their entangled lips parted and he slowly pulled out of the embrace. Eiji nearly tumbled over, but Ash caught him at the last second. His face was completely flushed and he was panting, unable to say anything for a moment. But there was a worried look on his face.

“I’m sorry, I think I overdid it a little.”, Ash apologized when he saw the shocked look on his face.

_Maybe I did something wrong? Why is Eiji looking so worried?_

“No, it’s fine. Eiji said after catching his breath. “But, Ash, are you all right?”, Eiji asked, frowning, his brown eyes flooding with concern.

“Why – “, Ash asked in bewilderment. But Eiji just reached for his face, wiping the tears away that were streaming down his face. It was only at that moment that Ash realized that he was crying.

_Tears? Why am I crying? And why now? Maybe because it had felt completely different from all the other kisses that had been forced on me? Because it was the first kiss I’ve given voluntarily? Or because I was sharing the kiss with a person I truly loved?_

“I’m fine.”, Ash said. “I don’t even know why I’m crying.”, he tried to explain himself.  
“My kissing was that bad, huh?”, Eiji said, smirking at him.

Suddenly Ash burst out laughing. “No, you dork. It was the best kiss ever, it felt amazing.”  
“It felt amazing to me as well.”, Eiji assured him, smiling and blushing again.

Eiji handed him a glass of sparkling wine and took the other one.  
“Happy Birthday, Ash! Cheers!” When they had finished their glasses, Ash looked sadly at him.

“Thank you, Eiji. For everything. And sorry for overreacting again… For being such an idiot…”, he apologized, his jade green eyes drowning in guilt.

“Ah, that reminds me.”, Eiji smiled at him. “Before we eat all of that, you should open that envelope. I knew you’d get upset when finding that. But I forgot to hide it. Sorry about that.”

“Ok?”, Ash answered, opening the envelope with a confused look on his face.

Inside were now two plane tickets. But not to New York, but to Tokyo. But the travel agency was an American one.

“Tokyo?”, Ash asked curiously. “But when I found the envelope, there was only one ticket inside.”

“Yeah, it’s a birthday present. “Both tickets were sent separately. I planned a trip for us for the next two weeks. We have both free time now, so I booked a roundtrip to Tokyo and some other places I’ve always wanted to show you.”

“Wow, now I feel really bad. So the time you spent on the phone and were so busy was…”

“Yeah, because I had to book the trip and all the hotels in advance.”, Eiji explained.

“Can you please punch me for being such an idiot? Sometimes I have no idea why you even put up with some dense idiot like me. I don’t deserve someone like you.”, he said in a pain stricken voice.

“Ash, stop. It’s true you’re a complete idiot who can’t even remember his own birthday. But I bet you’ve never really celebrated your own birthday, right? But if you doubt one more time that I want to stay by your side I’ll seriously punch you. More than once.”, Eiji scolded him.

“And the travel agency is American because we booked it online.”, Eiji explained.  
“We?”, Ash asked curiously. “What do you mean by that?”  
“I organized it together with Max. He insisted on helping me and on paying for half of it as a present for his dumb son. Because he didn’t have time to fly here.”

“You mean he’d have really flown here? Just for my birthday?”, Ash asked incredulously, eyes widening.

“Of course. He’s your dad. So make sure to call him and thank him properly.”, Eiji reminded him sternly.

“So can you open your other presents now?”, Eiji finally asked.  
“You mean that’s not everything?”, Ash asked surprised.

“Of course not. That one’s from me. Open it.”

It was a photo book with all the photos Eiji had taken of him, his gang and all the other people while in New York. Ash opened it and was completely surprised. There were many photos of his gang, their trip to Cape Cod, L.A. and all the other places. But at the end there were also countless photos of himself. Photos of Ash, the teenager, cooking, sleeping, reading and doing other every day stuff. Those were pictures of an Ash Lynx his gang didn’t know. Not the infamous and deadly gang leader, but the normal teenager, a side of him he had only shown to Eiji and no one else.

“When did you take all of those, Eiji? I’ve never noticed. They’re really great. Thank you!”  
Eiji beamed at him. “There’s one last present. But I don’t know if you’ll like it… It’s from Ibe.  
It’s that large present over there.”, Eiji said nervously, motioning to a large present that looked like a huge poster or a painting.

Ash unpacked it, wondering why Eiji was suddenly so nervous. Then he understood. It was a large picture with a frame meant to hang on a wall of their apartment. Eiji probably didn’t know if Ash was comfortable with a large photo of himself and Eiji hanging on the wall. Photos were something negative for him, something that reminded him of his dark past he desperately wanted to forget.

“That’s from Cape Cod, isn’t it?”, Ash asked curiously, looking at it in more detail.

“Yeah, it is. I really love that picture of the two of us.”, Eiji admitted quietly.

“It’s a really nice photo. Where do you want to hang it?”

Eiji just stared at him incredulously.

“You really don’t mind, Ash?”, Eiji asked. “You can tell me, if you …”

Ash interrupted him lightly. “I really don’t mind. The photos you and Ibe took of me are totally different from those other photos.”, Ash explained to him.  
“Your photos are beautiful and full of life. They aren’t twisted or evil, but show moments of New York that are precious to me. But that’s one of Ibe’s photos, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it is. You really don’t mind if we hang it in our apartment? It doesn’t remind you of Cape Cod and you know…?”, Eiji asked again, still worried.

“No, it reminds me of the time I spent there with you.”, Ash simply said. “Do you like that picture?”

“Yeah, I love it. It’s a great picture of you. Of us.”

“I didn’t know I could smile like that. I look so…normal. Happy. Relaxed.”, Ash admitted.  
People have always told me I have the cold eyes of a killer… devoid of any emotion…”

“Ash, that’s not true. You have beautiful green eyes that are kind and warm. Exactly like in that photo. Maybe looking at it will make you understand that eventually. Ash smiled sadly at him.

“Eiji, I’m really sorry. You did so much for me and I only made it harder for you. I always assume the worst. How can I ever make that up to you?”, Ash’s voice was drowning in self-guilt again, blaming himself.

“Ash, remember when I asked you to trust me? You did trust me. You didn’t push the matter, gave me the space I needed and didn’t try to find out what I was doing. I bet you could have hacked into the computer I borrowed from you. But you didn’t, did you?”

“No, because I wanted to hear the truth from you.”

“See? You did trust me and didn’t investigate or asked Ibe, Max or my parents. You knew that I would never do anything to hurt you and that there had to be a good reason why I have a secret I’m not telling you.  
“At the beginning you would have left immediately for NYC when I would have done something like that. You call that a step forward. Your first assumption was not to think that I want you to leave, but to trust me.

“But, I still – “, Ash started again, but was interrupted softly by Eiji again.

“Yeah, you overreacted, but your first thought was still to trust me. That means you’re recovering. But you can’t expect miracles. Recovery takes a lot of time.”

Ash nodded sadly at him.

“Are we gonna eat that or do you want to torture me endlessly? I’m starving.”

“Here you go.”, Eiji replied, handing him a bowl. Pure disgust suddenly crossed Ash’s face while Eiji burst out laughing. “Your expression. Priceless!”

“Eiji, don’t tell me you made natto for my birthday? That’s just cruel.”, Ash complained, sulking.

“Kidding.”, Eiji said, handing him the avocado-shrimp salad. “Much better.”

“Wow, that’s all really good!”, he exclaimed while trying all the other dishes on the table.  
“When did you make all of these?”, Ash asked curiously.

While a certain someone was still sleeping.”, Eiji said, smirking at him.  
“I’ll go get the desserts from the café.”, Ash said, getting up, feeling slightly guilty about that.

While he put the dirty dishes in the sink and took the desserts out of the fridge,  
he smiled to himself and took some plates and forks with him.

When he came back, Eiji was sitting on the sofa, but had fallen to the side sleeping soundly.

That idiot had probably spent the last week preparing everything for his birthday, determined to surprise him. Now the exhaustion had finally caught up with him. He gently put a blanket on him.Then he kissed his forehead while whispering “Thank you for that perfect day.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that I’ve never written a kissing scene, so I have no idea how it turned out. Since I’m a beginner, I sometimes have to just try new things. 
> 
> If you have any tips or opinions about the story, I’d love to hear them. 
> 
> I live for kudos, comments and bookmarks. They totally make my day.
> 
> Thank you for reading the second part❤️

**Author's Note:**

> I’d love to read what you think about the story.
> 
> I appreciate kudos, comments and bookmarks. They make my day and give me the motivation to write more stories.
> 
> Thank you for reading❤️


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